You are enough

spiritbyalamir"We form relationships to fulfill our needs; physical, mental or emotional. A relationship in which we are being deprived of our needs while having to fulfill the needs of the other person/s involved is known as a toxic relationship.

In a toxic relationship, there is no way for a person to feel good about himself. It is cultured in such a way that the person begins to deteriorate in his ideals of what a relationship looks like. Once that has occurred, the person makes himself settle with the toxicity; regardless of the impact that it has on him.

The most primary need for which we form a relationship is the need of belonging. We connect with other people to feel as if we are not lonely. We form this relation to provide a false sense of security to the our hurting inner child. This is the hardest relationship to leave behind if it turns out to be toxic.

People don't leave horrible relationships despite being tortured by them; because they think that without that relationship they cannot survive. They don't leave because that fake belonging is their only sense of belonging; as they have not ever belonged to themselves.

This is why I always put so much focus that before we get involved in any such relationships, we should meet our need of belonging directly; so that this wormhole is closed. This is what self-love means. Self-love doesn't mean self-care or self-obsession, but self-awareness; it means the realization that you are whole in and of yourself.

If you are a self-loving person, you would never stay in a relationship that doesn't commit to providing you a healthy sense of belonging. So, if you are someone who is suffering from such toxic relationships – I want you to lay down your fear of loneliness, comfort it and be that lover for it that you have been trying to find in other people.

Once you have done that, loneliness will no longer be a curse but a blessing. It will upgrade itself and become solitude.
That's my message for today; to be alone no longer remains the equivalent of lonely once you realize that you are whole in and of yourself. Today, I invite you to realize this. And to grow beyond the relations that are failing you."

alamir @ spiritbyalamir 💜💜💜