Heh, veel suhetest :)

"You never have to leave who you are and what you value in order to keep anything that's meant to be in your life. If you have to abandon you to keep it/them, they've you've made that relationship more important than the relationship you have with yourself.⁠
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The choice to self-abandon for love and relationships is often one learned from childhood... where we had to take care of a parent/family member... or we had to dance around on eggshells because of someone's unpredictability due to substance abuse/anger. And sometimes it can just be because no one was around to hear our needs/wants... so we have spent our lives living for other people's needs and wants.⁠
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Look, relationships are complex. That's a captain obvious statement.... I know. But here's what's simple: you don't have to know WHY you self-abandon... you just have to know that you do it, and that you will NO LONGER do it. You must get to know the feeling in your body that you get when you compromise you. Get to know that feeling well and use it as the trigger for you to lay down the most beautiful boundaries in the world... because you're worthy of that.⁠
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Love you. Love them. Don't love you more than them. Don't love them more than you. Value yourself. Value them. Respect yourself. Respect them. Create safety for you. Help create safety for them. Do this with boundaries! "

MARK GROVES @ createthelove
Mark Groves on üks mu kolmest lemmikust suhteeksperdist Instas :)




Njah, mina kõrvalteedesse ei usu.
Kui me peame rabama selleks, et miski meie elus säiliks, siis ilmselt ei peaks see asi meie elus olema - muidu oleks ta seal rabamatagi.

Ka ei usu ma seda, mida psühholoogid peavad küpsuseks: ebameeldivused tuleb alla neelata kaugemat sihti silmas pidades.
Kui sa elad keset ebameeldivusi, siis sa isegi ei tea enam, mis on hea elu ja mis su kaugem eesmärk üldse olema peaks. Sa hakkad uskuma, et elu ongi rassimine ja endakaotustest toibumine.

Ma täiega soovitan uurida seda, mis ebameeldiva (üllatuse)na meie ellu tuleb, uurida, mis meis toimub selle asjaga kokku puutudes, kuid kui mõistmine pigem lükkab eemale kui tõmbab, siis - lükake eemale. Mitte keegi ei saa elutervet elu lubades selle sisse vastikuid asju.