Enesehülgamisest

If you’ve never done it, you’re one in a million. I did it so many times over. Former versions of Vienna were in a constant state of trading authenticity for an outcome I thought I needed.
So what’s that mean? Instead of saying what I meant, expressing myself fully, setting and keeping boundaries, and sharing how I felt, I’d pretend I was fine when I wasn’t, and okay with something I wasn’t okay with.

The outcome I thought I wanted? To maintain a relationship. To be chosen. To be in something rather than speak my truth and risk losing something that wasn’t aligned with me in the first place.
So here’s an apology letter to the former versions of myself that I thought needed to shape shift in order to be loved. Here’s an apology note to the former versions of myself that I thought needed to self sacrifice in order to be chosen.

I didn’t. And you don’t.

And more importantly, we have to stop choosing to. To become the observers when we see ourselves starting to cave in on ourselves.
The practice?

To speak our truth. To align what’s happening internally with what gets brought forward. To notice when we want to fall back into old ways that keep us stuck and pivot. To see the origin story of why we’ve begun to do this in the first place. And to ultimately strengthen our own confidence within ourselves and remind ourselves that healthy, expansive love does not require us to trade authenticity. It may stretch us and challenge us, but we do not need to trade ourselves in to get an outcomes that requires us to self betray and self abandon.


Allikas: Instagram @ mindfulmft


Ehk siis kokkuvõtlikult: vahel tasub endalt küsida, kas me ikka peame tegema asju, mida meilt nõutakse. Ja paluda teisel mõelda, miks ta arvab, et tal on õigus nõuda meilt aega ja jõudu, mida tahame oma tarbeks kulutada. Kas see ei kuulu meile? Mis diil on?
Ja veel - miks me eelistame seda, et teine inimene mossitades tõuseb ja toob meile midagi sellele, et ta uurib: "Miks mina? Kas sa ise ei või tuua?"

Mina tunnen end väga hästi ja tülivabalt, kui elan põhimõttel, et kui ma ei suuda ise mingit värki ära teha ja keegi pole vabalt valmis mind aitama, siis ma lihtsalt loobun sellest asjast, mitte ei hakka nõudma, et teised mu soove täidaksid. See tundub nii puhas, vimmavaba elu.

Loomulikult tehakse ka meie kodus teiste heaks iga päev palju väikesi asju - ja mõnikord suuremaid - kuid me kõik oleme nõus, et igasugune abi peab olema vabatahtlik ja pigem positiivseid tundeid tekitav. Teiste inimeste vaevamine on meie peres keelatud :D

Verified