"You never have to leave who you are and what you value in order to keep anything that's meant to be in your life. If you have to abandon you to keep it/them, they've you've made that relationship more important than the relationship you have with yourself.
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The choice to self-abandon for love and relationships is often one learned from childhood... where we had to take care of a parent/family member... or we had to dance around on eggshells because of someone's unpredictability due to substance abuse/anger. And sometimes it can just be because no one was around to hear our needs/wants... so we have spent our lives living for other people's needs and wants.
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Look, relationships are complex. That's a captain obvious statement.... I know. But here's what's simple: you don't have to know WHY you self-abandon... you just have to know that you do it, and that you will NO LONGER do it. You must get to know the feeling in your body that you get when you compromise you. Get to know that feeling well and use it as the trigger for you to lay down the most beautiful boundaries in the world... because you're worthy of that.
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Love you. Love them. Don't love you more than them. Don't love them more than you. Value yourself. Value them. Respect yourself. Respect them. Create safety for you. Help create safety for them. If any of these are out of balance, the relationship will be too. Check in with what you need to adjust... and then return to homeostasis."
MARK GROVES @
Nii lihtne! :)
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